Onward Bound Humor

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Monday, January 16, 2006

89. Wall Street Merger Rumors

Are your investments in order? Below are some of the latest merger rumors from Wall Street:

*Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
*Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
*3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
*John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
*Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
*Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
*Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine All Mine.
*Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.
*Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.
*3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney Opera.
*Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become Knott NOW

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