Onward Bound Humor

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Location: The City, On the edge

Friday, January 13, 2006

87. More Hollywood Squares

Q. Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
A. Paul Lynde: Yes, but it still won't go up to your apartment.

Q. Peter Marshall: Is it true that heavy consumption of alcohol can cause hearing loss?
A. Charley Weaver: Marco Polo.

Q. Peter Marshall: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?
A. Paul Lynde: I don't know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

Q. Peter Marshall: What are "Do It", "I Can Help", and "Can't Get Enough"?
A. I don't know but its coming from the next apartment.

Q. Peter Marshall: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look good sexy on a women?
A. Redd Fox: I wouldn't have it any other way.

Q. Peter Marshall: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

Q. Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or you elephant?
A. Who told you about my elephant?

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.