Onward Bound Humor

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

327. Wives

1) 'When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.'
Sacha Guitry
2) 'After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.'
Hemant Joshi
3) 'By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher.'
Socrates
4) 'Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.'
Dumas
5) 'I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.'
Anonymous
6) 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Henry Youngman
7) 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage.'
James Holt McGavran
8) 'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the
second one didn't.'
Patrick Murray
9) Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit
it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
10) The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
11) 'My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.'
Rodney Dangerfield
12) 'A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.'
Milton Berle

From: Jewish-News-Humor mailing list
>http://lists.sonic.net/mailman/listinfo/jewish-news-humor

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