318. Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top
of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because
they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes
take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along,
the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men....
Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women
to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with.