Onward Bound Humor

If you have any jokes that would fit here please send them to: Bookgleaner@gmail.com ---------------------------- More blogs: http://Outwardboundideas.blogspot.com - http://Inwardboundpoetry.blogspot.com - http://Homewardboundphotos.blogspot.com - And http://davidthemaker.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

316. Cullings II

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's
license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The
optician showed him a card with the letters: C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon, the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon, the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?.... Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.

Jewish proverb with universal application.
"A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never forget what she forgave."

P.S. Do you know that the word ‘gullible’ doesn’t appear in every English dictionary? Do you have one of the rare dictionaries that include this word?

She's Lying If You Hear...
It happens to all men.
Size doesn't matter
Great, I'd love to hang out with your mother.
Don't be silly. I like taking the bus.

What's the difference between the Soviet Constitution and the United States Constitution?
The Soviet Constitution guarantees freedom of speech and freedom of gathering. The American Constitution guarantees freedom after speech and freedom after gathering.

America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.

Some Differences Between Men And Women...
When the bill arrives the four men will each throw in $20 even if the bill is nowhere near that amount....none of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want any change back. When the girls get the bill out comes the pocket calculator.

A man has six items in his bathroom..... a tooth brush, a comb, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap and a towel he stole from the :"Holiday Inn." The average number of items a typical woman has in her bathroom is 337. However she is ever ready for any emergency that may arise.

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There is no point in two people remembering the same thing.

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