Onward Bound Humor

If you have any jokes that would fit here please send them to: Bookgleaner@gmail.com ---------------------------- More blogs: http://Outwardboundideas.blogspot.com - http://Inwardboundpoetry.blogspot.com - http://Homewardboundphotos.blogspot.com - And http://davidthemaker.blogspot.com/

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Friday, October 13, 2006

317. Cullings III

Cullings III

Movie Sequels Nobody Wants To See:
Commandments 11-20: Moses Strikes Back
Rocky 10: Rocky Fights Irregularity
Babe III: Great Bacon Recipes
Dumbo: First Blood
Driving Miss Daisy's Hearse
Lawrence of Bulgaria
Gone With The Wind II: Can Irritable Bowel Syndrome Cause Death?

Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 years to learn:
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
You should not confuse your career with your life.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
Your true friends love you, anyway.

"Hell is being in heaven and not liking it." Bud Shrake
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.Today, it's called golf.

A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE
Pythagorean theorem: 24 words
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words
The 10 Commandments: 179 words
The Gettysburg Address: 286 words
The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words
U.S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words

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