Onward Bound Humor

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Location: The City, On the edge

Sunday, November 27, 2005

38. Understanding The Stock Market

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an
investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E Ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the market keeps crashing.

Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst - The idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Stock Split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split
all your assets between themselves.

Market Correction - The day after you buy your stocks.

Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it
disappears down the toilet.

Institutional Investor - Past-years' investor who is
now locked up in the nuthouse.

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