Onward Bound Humor

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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

31. God's Balance

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of the Lord, "Where have you been?" God signed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it.
I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor.
Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a
continent of black people."

God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and
covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and
said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's California: the most glorious place on earth.
There are beautiful beaches, deserts, streams, hills, and forests. The
people from California are going to be handsome, intelligent, have a
great sense of humor, and they are going to be found traveling the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and
they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in Sacramento."