24. Jewish Buddhism

Take only what is given. Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl.
Unless, of course, you have the closet space.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the
wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with
posture like that.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you
never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the
following: Get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that
not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget these
simple things and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The
Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao is not Jewish.

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.

The Buddha taught that one should practice loving-kindness to all
sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being
who happens to be Jewish?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Find enlightened ones, and learn. Follow their ways and observe their
practices. After you reach forty you don't have to call them "Mom".