Onward Bound Humor

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

241. Light Bulbs and Professions

How Many, In the Following Professions, Does It Take To Change
A Light Bulb?

Psychiatrists: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

Windows Programmers: 472, one to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Managers: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why
light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors
can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Microsoft Vice Presidents: Eight, one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Shipping Dept. Personnel: We can change the bulb in 7-10 working days; if
you call before 2pm and pay an extra $15 we can get the bulb changed overnight.

Microsoft Engineers: None, Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(tm) as
the new industry standard.

Jewish Mothers: None. ("Thats all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...")

Nuclear War Survivors: None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Russian Leaders: Nobody knows, Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.

Feminists: Thats not funny!!!

Data Base People Three, one to write the light bulb removal program, one
to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb
administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at
the same time.

Consultants: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

Doctor: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

College Football Players: The entire team! And they all get a semester's
credit for it!

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