Onward Bound Humor

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

238. Light Bulbs And Jews

Jewish Light Bulb Questions

Hassidic Rebbes: What is a light bulb?

Orthodox Rabbis: Change?

Conservative Rabbis: Call a committee meeting.

Reform Rabbis: None, anyone can change it whenever they want to.

Jewish Renewal Rabbis: It depends.

Shlomo Hassidim: Gevaldt, it's mamash such a great opportunity to do t'shuvah.
So it takes everyone there to get real close, sing a niggun, listen to an Ishbitzer teaching,
tell a Levi Yitchak story, and change the bulb at 2 in the morning.

Reconstructionist Rabbis: Four, one to wish they were doing what the Orthodox rabbi does,
one to wish they were doing what the Reform rabbi does, one to wish they were doing what
the Renewal rabbi does, and one eventually to change the bulb.

Lubavitchers: None, it never died.

Breslover Hassidim: None, there will never be one that will burn as brightly as the first one.

Congregates: CHANGE? You vant we should CHANGE the light bulb? My grandmother
donated that light bulb!!!

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