Onward Bound Humor

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Thursday, June 15, 2006

232. Sarcasm

Sarcasm From People With Brains

1. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
2. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
- Winston Churchill
3. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
4. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
5. "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas
7. "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
8. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln
9. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx
10 "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
- Thomas Brackett Reed
11. "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
12. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain
13. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West
14. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde
15. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
16. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
Winston Churchill, in reply
17. "A sheep in sheep's clothing."
- Winston Churchill, on Clement Atlee
18. "He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself and hurried on as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill, on Stanley Baldwin

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