Onward Bound Humor

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Location: The City, On the edge

Monday, May 15, 2006

204. Signs You Live In Southern California

You know you live in SO-CAL when::::::::

1. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
2. You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
3. You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell
4. You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican.
5. You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there.
6. Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes."
7. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
8. In the "winter," you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
9. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
10. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
11. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
12. You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
13. You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
14. You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan.
15. You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times ... You don't remember at least 1 of them.
16. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
17. You eat pineapple on pizza.
18. Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.
19. You think that Venice is a beach.
20. The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
21. You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
22. You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "714." Nobody likes anyone the "909" because it stinks there.
23. You call 911 and they put you on hold.
24. You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
25. The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
26. You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill".It doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason
27. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will; find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
28. You know what "sigalert," "PCH," and "the five" mean.
29. You can't remember .. . . is pot illegal?
30. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"
31. The Terminator is your governor.
32. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

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