Onward Bound Humor

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Saturday, May 06, 2006

198. What Is Marketing?

People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing."
Well, here it is:

You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a
party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at
you says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to
him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say,
"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.

You see a guy at a party, you straighten your
dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I,"
and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly
against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks
up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He
fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize
that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing.
So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center
and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.

You are at a party, this well-built man walks up
to you and gropes your breast and grabs your ass.
That's Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You like it, but 20 years later your attorney
decides you were offended and files suit.
That's America


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