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Friday, May 05, 2006

197. Hillbilly Medical Terms

Bacteria .......... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium ............ What you do with dead folks.
Cauterize ......... Made eye contact with her.
Coma .............. A punctuation mark.
D&C ............... Where Washington is.
Dilate ............ To live longer than your kids do.
Enema ............. Not a friend.
Fester ............ Quicker than someone else.
Fibula ............ A small lie.
G.I. Series ....... World Series of military baseball.
Impotent .......... Distinguished, well known.
Morbid ............ A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates .......... Cheaper than day rates.
Node .............. I knew it.
Outpatient ........ A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear ......... A fatherhood test.
Recovery Room ..... Place to do upholstery.
Secretion ......... Hiding something
Terminal Illness .. Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor ............. More than one.
Urine ............. Opposite of mine.
Varicose .......... Near by.