72. A Potato Saga

You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had
eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one, a real
sweet potato, whom they called Yam. They wanted the best for little Yam,
telling her all about the facts of life.

They warned her about going out and getting half baked because she
could get Mashed, get a bad name like 'Hot Potato,' and then end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. She said not to worry, "No Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her!" But she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to
watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland. And even the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. They also said she should watch out for the Indians when going out west because she could get Scalloped. She told them she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Blue Belles or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks you see around town that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. & Mrs. Potato wanted the best for Yam, so they sent her to Idaho
P.U., that's Potato University, where the Big Potatoes come from. When she
graduates, she'll really be in the Chips. But one day she came home
and said she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset and said she couldn't marry him because he's just a...?

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A COMMON TATOR!