Onward Bound Humor

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Thursday, December 22, 2005

65. A Test

1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it?

A coffin

2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts, to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?

The child was born before 1776.

3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on earth?

Mount Everest, it just hadn't been discovered

4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

Clara lives in the Southern Hemisphere.

5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion 8." Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story?

World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II.

7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?

They fall in the same year every year. New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year.

8. A woman from New York married ten different men from that city, yet she did not break any laws. None of these men died, and she never divorced. How was this possible?

The lady was a Justice of the Peace.

9. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?

One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.

10. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?

Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.

11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.

"one word"

14. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a wooden leg.

16. After the new Canon Law that took effect on November 27, 1983, would a Roman Catholic man be allowed to marry his widow's sister?

No. A dead man can marry no one.

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