Onward Bound Humor

If you have any jokes that would fit here please send them to: Bookgleaner@gmail.com ---------------------------- More blogs: http://Outwardboundideas.blogspot.com - http://Inwardboundpoetry.blogspot.com - http://Homewardboundphotos.blogspot.com - And http://davidthemaker.blogspot.com/

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Location: The City, On the edge

Monday, December 12, 2005

56. Signs You Are A Yankee

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY.
You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
You have no idea what a polecat is.
You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
You don't have bangs.
You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his
own TV fishing show.
You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.
You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of
the road and stopping.
Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within
the context of a football game.
You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
You've never been to a craft show..
You can't do your laundry without quarters.
None of your fur coats are homemade.

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