Onward Bound Humor

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Saturday, December 17, 2005

61. Why God Never Received Tenure

1. He only had one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some doubt he even wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but
what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission
to use human subjects.
10. When subjects didn't behave as he predicted, he deleted
them from the sample.
11. He rarely came to class, he just told students to read the book.
12. Some say he had his son teach the class.
13. He expelled his first two students for learning.
14. Although there were only 10 requirements, all of his
students failed the test.
15. His office hours were infrequent and held on a mountain top.
16. He has a poor record of working well with colleagues.

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