Onward Bound Humor

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

349. Mark Twain & H. L. Mencken Quotes

Selections from Bibliotopia
Some Mark Twain Quotes
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
All you need in life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
I never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Beware of reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Some H. L. Mencken Quotes
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine.
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed ( and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

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