Onward Bound Humor

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Monday, March 19, 2007

340. Washington Post Invitational, Week 699

Washington Post Invitational, Week 699 (Selected)
More definitions:

Fuhrenheit: The temperature in Hell. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)
Eruditz: A philosophy professor who can't figure out how to work the copying machine. (John Kupiec, Fairfax)
Fearcical: Ludicrous yet vaguely alarming. "There's a fearcical rumor we're going to invade Venezuela." (Martin Bancroft, Rochester, N.Y.)
Epigramp: A maxim that brands the speaker as an old codger: "If God had wanted women to wear pants . . ." (Brendan Beary)
Tedema: That jowly Kennedy look. (Kevin Dopart)

Educrate: To teach in one of the "modules" set up "temporarily" in the parking lot of an overcrowded school. (Ted Einstein, Silver Spring)
Elbrow: Extremely long underarm hair. (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls Church)
Emacidate: Go out with a fashion model. (Kevin Dopart)
Demoticon: A little symbol signifying bad news on an e-mail from the boss. (Roy Ashley, Washington)
Tempress: Today, Mistress of the Domains of Chaos; tomorrow, just another loser. (Ann Martin, Annapolis)

Zencompass: Wherever you go, there you are. (Kevin Dopart)
Unergy: A condition that strikes people on the way to work, mostly on Mondays. (Janet Alexandrow, Springfield)
Ennaui: The least exciting of the Hawaiian islands. (Brendan Beary)
Entrophy: The consequence of resting on one's laurels. (Bill Strider, Gaithersburg)

Eohoppus: A prehistoric kangaroo. (Brendan Beary)
Enguish: What elocution teachers feel when they hear the president on the radio. (Karl Koerber, Crescent Valley, B.C.)
Estchew: To stay on daylight saving time. (Bob Kopac, Poughkeepsie, N.Y.)
Stonia: A small European country with very loose drug laws. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
Innui: How you feel upon seeing the same landscape painting you saw in your last six hotel rooms. (Dave Komornik, Danville, Va.)

Erstwhale: The success story in the Jenny Craig ad. (Jay Shuck, Minneapolis)
Nestrogen: A hormone produced during pregnancy that produces cravings for wallpaper with matching borders and dust ruffles. (Brendan Beary)
Estrogent: Someone who asks if the fabulous pumps are available in a 13 1/2 E. (Phil Frankenfeld, Washington)
Excaliburp: Sword swallower's reflux. (Marian Carlsson, Lexington, Va.)

Excretary: The office worker who seems to spend two hours a day in the bathroom. (Jay Shuck)
Exhillaration: what Monica almost caused in Bill. (Peter Metrinko)
Experdition: The journey to Hell. (Martin Bancroft; Mae Scanlan, Washington)
Excavhate: To dredge up an old grievance during an argument. (Mike Fransella, Arlington)
Macebook.com: For warding off cyber-stalkers. (Ben Aronin, Washington)

FAQu: The response to frequently asked stupid questions. (Ira Allen, Bethesda)
Yellowship: Cowards Anonymous. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)
Fiefdome: A state capitol building. (Creigh Richert, Aldie)
Foaly: A elderly horse who likes to bother young colts. (John Holder, Charlotte)
Farternity: An old boys' club. (David Franks, Wichita)


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