Onward Bound Humor

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Monday, July 31, 2006

274. Washington Post Invitational - Two

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

BOZONE (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone Layer, unfortunately, shows littlesigns of breaking down in the near future.
INTAXICATION: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
REINTARNATION: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
CASHTRATION (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
SARCHASM: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
INOCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
HIPATITIS: Terminal coolness.
OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
KARMAGEDDON: It's like, when everybody is sending off these really bad
vibes, right? And then, like, earth explodes and it's like,
a serious bummer.
DECAFALON (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only the things that are good for you.
DOPELER EFFECT: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
CATERPALLOR (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you are eating.
And the pick of the bunch -
INGNORANUS: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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