Onward Bound Humor

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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

170. Washington Post Invitational - One

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. BOZONE (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone Layer, unfortunately,
shows little signs of breaking down in the near future.
2. INTAXICATION: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
3. REINTARNATION: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. CASHTRATION (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
5. SARCHASM: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
6. INOCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. HIPATITIS: Terminal coolness.
8. OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
9. KARMAGEDDON: It's like, when everybody is sending off these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
10. DECAFALON (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only the things that are good for you.
11. DOPELER EFFECT: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
12. ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
13. CATERPALLOR (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you are eating.
13. INGNORANUS: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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