Onward Bound Humor

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

158. Graduate Students

You just might be a graduate student if...

...you spend more on books than on tuition.
...you actually hope your professor assigns homework.
...you get a 3-hour final with 5 questions or less.
...more than 25% of your textbook is "left as an exercise for the reader."
...you are on a first-name basis with everyone on the library staff.
...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
...you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.