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Monday, March 20, 2006

155. Performance Evaluation Definitions

Accepts new job assignments willingly...... Never finishes a job.
Active socially............................ Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments.............. An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic... Finds someone else to do the job.
Average.................................... Not too bright.
Character above reproach................... Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic............................. No interest in any opinion but his own.
Consults with co-workers often............ Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often............ Pain in the ass.
Delegates responsibility effectively...... Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership...... Has a loud voice.
Displays excellent intuitive judgment..... Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility...... Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job................................ Needs more to do.
Excels in the effective application of skills..... Makes a good cup of coffee.
Exceptionally well qualified........... Has committed no major blunders to date.
Expresses self well.................... Can string two sentences together.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike.... A coward.
Happy.................................. Paid too much.
Hard worker............................ Usually does it the hard way.
Identifies major management problems...... Complains a lot.
Internationally known..... Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
Is well informed...... Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
Inspires the cooperation of others....... Gets everyone else to do the work.
Is unusually loyal................. Wanted by no-one else.
Keen sense of humor................ Knows lots of dirty jokes.
Listens well....................... Has no ideas of his own.
Maintains a high degree of participation..... Comes to work on time.
Meticulous in attention to detail............ A nitpicker.
Not a desk person............................ Did not go to college.
Of great value to the organization........... Turns in work on time.
Use all available resources.......... Takes office supplies home for personal use.
Straightforward...................... Blunt and insensitive.
Strong adherence to principles....... Stubborn.
Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress...... Buys drinks for superiors.
Unlimited potential.................. Will stick with us until retirement.
Uses resources well.................. Delegates everything.
Uses time effectively................ Clock watcher.
Visionary....... Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.
Will go far.......................... Relative of management.
Willing to take calculated risks..... Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.