145. Screw The Meek

VATICAN CITY--In a historic reversal of its nearly 2,000-year-old
pro-meek stance, the Catholic Church announced Tuesday that it is
permanently rescinding the traditional "blessed" status of the world's
meek.
"Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ once said, 'Blessed are the meek,'"
said Pope John Paul II in a papal bull read before the College of
Cardinals. "However, there has always been a tacit understanding between
the Church and the meek that this 'blessed' status was conditional upon
their inheritance of the earth, an event which seems unlikely to happen
anytime in the foreseeable future. Our relationship, therefore, must be
terminated."
"Screw the meek," the pope added.
Citing "two millennia of inaction and non-achievement" by the world's
impoverished and downtrodden, the pope contended that the meek's
historic inability to improve their worldly status constituted "bad
faith" on their part.
"Twenty centuries should have been more than enough time for them to
inherit the earth," the Supreme Pontiff said. "For years, the Catholic
Church has made every effort to help them, but at some point, enough is
enough. We are patient, but we are not saints."
Catholic leaders around the world were vocal in their support of the
pope.