Onward Bound Humor

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

218. Pearls of Wisdom From Britain

International relations:
The Scots pray on their knees on Sunday and on their neighbours the rest of the week.
The Welsh keep the sabbath and anything else they can get their hands on.
The Irish don't know what they believe in but will fight to the death for it.
The English claim to be self made men which relieves the Almighty of a horrid responsibility.

One Italian is a Latin lover.
Two Italians generate confusion.
Three Italians form four political parties.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
If the human brain was simple enough for us to understand, we would still be so stupid that we couldn't understand it.
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.
It's always easy to see both sides of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.

Love looks through a telescope; envy looks through a microscope.
A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself,
lets you forget it.
No matter what you do, someone always knew you would.
Have you noticed that an optimist is always able to see the bright side of other people's troubles?

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