217. Thoughts For The Day
my own pants.
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've stayed alive.
Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"