Onward Bound Humor

If you have any jokes that would fit here please send them to: Bookgleaner@gmail.com ---------------------------- More blogs: http://Outwardboundideas.blogspot.com - http://Inwardboundpoetry.blogspot.com - http://Homewardboundphotos.blogspot.com - And http://davidthemaker.blogspot.com/

My Photo
Name:
Location: The City, On the edge

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

106. Chickens & Roads Three

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Plato:
For the greater good.

Karl Marx:
It was an historical inevitability.

Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also
across you.

Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that
individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and
therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found
it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein:
The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken"
and "road," and circumstances came into being which caused the
actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.

Bhuddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Salvador Dali:
The Fish.

Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann Friedrich von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

David Hume:
Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson:
'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

John Sununu:
The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so
quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

Sappho:
Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side, more fair than all
of Hellas' fine armies.

Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Stephen Jay Gould:
It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but
we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories
despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the
genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the
specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological
speculation.

Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which
has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with
fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's
dominion maintained.

Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of pleghm in its pancreas.

Andersen Consultant:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using
the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use
its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align
the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its
overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen
Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best
chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the
transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings
in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and
explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to
achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting
and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in
a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment
which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive
towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more
successful.

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home