Onward Bound Humor

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Friday, November 04, 2005

8. The Latest Cults

Here is a list of the latest cults

Cult that specializes in certain hair-care products: Jojoba's Witnesses.
Cult that specializes in certain male toiletries: Mennenites.
Cult that specializes in drooling: Salivation Army.
Cult that specializes in lingerie: Panty-costals.
Cult that uses everyone else's churches: Roamin' Catholics.
Cult that specializes in finding things: Seeks.
Cult that worships the stock market: Dowists.
Cult that specializes in marquees: Signtologists.
Cult that trains actors: Methodists.
Cult specializing in maps: Chartists.
Cult that specializes in crowds & mobs: Congregationalists.
Cult that trains astronomers: Universalists.
Cult that worships bedsheets: Muslins.
Cult that vows to get even: Avengalists.
Cult that prays standing in running water: Creek Orthodox.
Cult that worships vegetables: Carrotsmatics.
Cult that shuns scissors and razors: Hairy Krishnas.
Cult that sells table accessories: Shakers.
Cult of Jamaican hookers: More, Mon?
Cult of college streakers: Moonies.
Cult of dry cleaning fanatics: Press-biterians.

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