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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

4. The Louisiana Refund

The Louisiana Refund

BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush
has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than
double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will
be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French
Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of
Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions
of dollars to rebuild. "Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush.
"He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water,
and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot
of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to
fix it."

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents
of Louisiana.

"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly
yum kom drabby sham!"

However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by
Republicans.

"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate
Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions,
and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made
25 million dollars in pure profit."

"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume.
"Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on
the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can
easily invade and take it back again."

The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be
immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

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