Onward Bound Humor

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Sunday, October 16, 2016

411. A Few Quotes

From Dorothy Parker In Her Own Words

Theatre Reviews:

“The scene was laid in France as was Mary”

“In the first act the heroine is strangled by one of her admirers. For me the murder came too late”

On war plays “I have witnessed so many German Spies I was beginning to distrust my own family”

On Tolstoy’s Redemption. “It isn’t what you would call sunny. I went into the Plymouth Theatre a comparatively young woman, and I staggered out of it, three hours later, twenty years older, haggard and broken with suffering……”

On The Silent Witness “Kay Strozzi had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as I have seen on the American stage. Had she not been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.”

In her new, small office. “I wrote ‘MEN’ on the door so as to see new faces.”

At a Halloween party, when told that the guests were busy ducking for apples. “There, but for a typographical error, is the story of my life”
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In Paris the non-English speaking owner of the cafe that Oscar Wilde frequented asked him to write a sign to attract english visitors so he did:

Come in you Anglo-Saxon swine
And drink of my Algerian wine.
’Twill turn your eyeballs black and blue

And damn well good enough for you

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