376. Washington Post Invitational, Week 749
In which we asked you to come up with entirely new meanings for existing words .
Conning tower: A Madison Avenue skyscraper.
(Mel Loftus, Holmen, Wis.)
Cremate: Coffee-Mate's unsuccessful initial brand name.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Accordion: The result of a Honda's collision with a Peterbilt.
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)
Aspiration: the trickle of sweat that runs down past your back on a hot summer day.
(Morris Davis, Gainesville, a First Offender)
Ballpark: An athletic supporter.
(Ross Elliffe, Picton, New Zealand)
Bandicoots: The Rolling Stones.
(Gary Hevel, Silver Spring)
Blunderbuss: To French-kiss your boss's wife at the office Christmas party.
(Roy Ashley, Washington)
Boron: A chem major at a party.
Bumpkin: A hit man from the Family.
Distribute: A nasty eulogy.
(Christopher Lamora, Arlington)
Eggs Benedict: The pope's edict on fertility treatments.
Effrontery: The missionary position.
Flaccid: Lousy LSD.
(Randy Lee, Burke)
G-spot: A mild reproach to a dog.
Hispanic: What Lou Dobbs demonstrates every time he opens his mouth about immigration.
Automated: Got lucky in the back seat.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)
Bag ladies: What single gentlemen try to do.
Direction: What Prince Charles had at least twice.
Homogenized: What the religious right fears our youth will become if public schools teach tolerance toward gay people.